Tuesday, December 22, 2009

a taxonomy of tacky fan gear



Which came first-- the pink soccer mom/ swamp donkey sox hat or the kelly green celtics santa hat?

While razor-tongued moms from the 'burbs would love for you to think it was the former, the prevalence of the latter on this evening's inbound train makes me wonder... to honors these Supahfans who are clearly en route to the game, i will share with you the secret recipe for the themed-cocktail of choice among Celtics fans riding the train this evening. Drink responsibly, kids.

The Tanked Townie, aka the Lahh-ree Bahd

1 part natty ice
2 parts creme de menthe
2 drops of green food coloring


1. combine all liquid ingredients into a lahj dunkies cup;
2. add ice and shake until frothy and green;
3. strain into a 2-litre mountain dew bottle;
4. garnish with a slim jim or twizzler "straw"


"Dude, I haven't been this drunk since the night when I set that c-ah on fi-ah aftah the Patriahts won the Supah Bowl!!!!!!

a junkie's promise

although weary of reducing all inbound commuters into townie stereotypes reminisent of the Lowell-inspired HBO classic documentary High on Crack Street, last Friday's encounter with one seat-digging-for-pennies, clearly-nodding-out-at-8am, half-smoked-cigarette-sucking individual left me with the same unsettling feeling that I had after seeing the documentary for the first time shortly after beginning my job in the City. Locals often complain about the bad rap that their dear Mill City gets from outsiders, but seriously-- when your morning commute is interrupted by a junkie's icy stare (this is somehow possible despite the fact that his eyes are rolled back in his head) and bony fingers being shoved between your butt and the back of your seat fishing around frantically for loose coinage, tell me-- what is a person supposed to think?

Friday, December 18, 2009

Maiden Voyage

over the past year i have spent most days commuting back and forth between my hometown of boston and my city of employment, lowell, massachusetts. let me tell you-- two hours a day is a long time to be stuck on a train with a carload of townies.

i had been resisting starting a blog about these adventures out of pure laziness, but this morning's ride was so exceptional that i became inspired to transcend my laziness and begin this site.

train is getting in, hallelujah! more to come...