next stop Nahth Station!

The air is filled with the sickeningly sweet aroma of merit extra golds mixed with mountain dew, while the soft murmur of townsfolk who drop their "ah's" is superceded only by the tap tap tapping of acrylic nail on smart phone keypad... yes, that's right, passengers, tonight we will all be shouting "LET'S GO, BRUINSSSSS!!!" And what better way to commemorate this joyous occasion than a recap of a conversation between the conductor and two snotty-assed townie massholes?

Townie Masshole #1 (female): "Whaddya MEAN ya cahn't break a $100??"

Conductor: "We need change for other passengers; it says on the schedule that we can't break anything larger than a $50."

Townie Masshole #1: "Well what are WE suppastah do about it?!"

Conductor: "Did you see the schedule? We can't break a $100."

Townie Masshole #1: "Oh, we NEVAH read THAT thing!"

...silence...

Conductor: "I'm gonna have to come back to you after i collect from everyone else." [walks away]

Townie Masshole #2 (male): ::snickersnicker:: "No change? NO TICKETS! Looks like we-ah riding fah FREE!"

***
Here's hoping these knuckleheads see a WIN tonight!

In anticipation of victory, another wintery, hockey-inspired cocktail:

The Dunqarie

Ingredients:
- Two dunkin donuts turbo shots (YEAH, BRAH!)
- A fifth of Jahgah
- 1 cup of shaved ice (the stuff you scrape off your skates works best, although snow works; just watch out for the yellow snow found all around the perimeter of the Gallagher Transportation Terminal)

Directions:
1. Lick the top of an extra lahj dunkies cup and then stick the rim in sweet 'n lo
2. Add turbo shots and jahgermiester
3. Add shaved ice and/or snow
4. Stir vigorously with one of those giant dunkies coolata straws
5. Garnish with a donut hole

Like most creamy, caffeinated beverages, it is enjoyed best when immediately chased with a Natty Ice tall boy.

C'est Magnifique!