Source: The Boston Globe 1-19-2010
Over the past day and a half, I have uttered, shouted, whispered, and gasped the word "fuck" more than I probably have cumulatively over the last two months... and I say "fuck" a lot. Fucking nudie Scott Brown swept the Special Senatorial Election to replace the seat of Edward Kennedy, and as if that fact didn't send a scary enough message that more than half of the Commonwealth's voting population supports a candidate that is anti-woman, anti-public health, anti-social welfare and pro-deregulation, we also have to worry about his political influence and power in Washington DC.
I understand that people are angry and frustrated about the state of the economy-- I have experienced the difficulty firsthand, as have nearly all of the people I'm close to-- and I know that Scott Brown lead a powerful 'truthful' grassroots campaign. But it is FUCKING SCARY the way our nation has become so politically and socially polarized over the past thirty years.
I know I play into it. In my opinion, the economic and cultural 'truths' that Scott Brown represents are socially regressive; they are tantamount to total moral disregard for the needy, the vulnerable, and the at-risk. Last month I commented on one of the local newspaper message boards about the fact that individuals in this country are not born into an even playing field, and I immediately got called a "moonbat" and was told to move to Canada, Europe, or one of those 'other Commie' places... NEWSFLASH folks, what characterizes us as Americans is not a common disregard for the common good, pure self interest or xenophobia (although it seems more and more people are buying into this ideology every day).
Those truths we have long held to be self-evident (does "liberty and justice for all" ring a bell?) are being reduced by conservative talking heads and tea-partiers into scathing insults to be thrown back into our faces.
How dare any true, blue-blooded, God-fearing American demand liberty or justice for ILLEGAL ALIENS who are stealing American jobs?!?! HOW dare you demand benefits for poor welfare mothers who just want to suck the system dry?!? Trust me, this is a G-rated version of the fear and loathing that spews from their mouths on these message boards. Check a few of them out if you haven't-- it's not just the
townies who are guilty of it-- it's those
cultured, educated kinsfolk, too.
'Rugged Individualism' is the name of the game, here, folks, even if its mythological bullshit. And what better way to represent that idea than show a picture of Scott Brown kicking ass and taking names in his big honking, gas guzzling
truck? Hey Scott, TRUCK YOU-- your carbon footprint is probably bigger than your head after all the miles you've put on that thing over the past few months.
How ironic is it that one day after the anniversary of the birth of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr our voters elects a man who is anti-immigrant, anti-woman, anti-queer, and anti-poor? This guy has the audacity to compare himself to Edward Kennedy and promise to honor his legacy... How will you do that, Scott? By throwing yourself in front of the one piece of legislation that meant the most to him during his 40+ year career in public service? Teddy isn't the only one spinning in his grave, these days...
I was curious to see how the voters in the region where I work cast their ballots, and was dismayed (although not very surprised) to learn that Brown won in each of the nine communities by virtual landslides. Even Lowell-- a city with thriving immigrant communities but more social and economic woes than most--cast 52% of their Ballots for Brown. The other communities voted for him in the range of 60%-70%... I understand the region is suffering economically Lowell's 24-month unemployment rate average is 1.5% higher than the National average, and the other communities are suffering, as well. But what makes people think that this dude is going to be able to provide them with jobs and economic opportunities any faster or more efficiently than Coakley would've? Or Obama will? Tax cuts won't cut it, friends.
24 Month Comparison of Lowell's Unemployment Rate to the Nation's:
Dec '07 - Nov '09
So why is this rant relevant to the Townie Express? Knowing that people in the Lowell region voted as they had, I found myself silently cursing every Townie who boarded the train yesterday. "F-U, two-tooth," "F-U, too, Gangsta Mullet," and a BIG "F-U" to to the townie mothahs who won't shut up about how "gay" it is that half of the seats on the train force passengers to sit backwards....I know it isn't fair-- how many of the people who boarded actually voted, let alone voted for Brown? Nevertheless, cursing abounds...these are tense times, people, tense times, indeed.
I need some serious comic relief. It isn't funny how "gay" those townie moms thought the seats were, but
it's funny how gay this video is. And to all the folks out there whose votes elected Scott Brown to office on Tuesday, don't forget how gay your teabagging parties are...even if you dress up like Paul Revere himself; distribute comics to kiddies about hellfire and brimstone; sew Obama VooDoo dolls; and set fire to piles of Martha Coakley lawn signs-- a set of balls in your mouth is STILL A SET OF BALLS IN YOUR MOUTH! And as one friend of mine pointed out, Scott Brown looks like he's dying for a set in his!
Going Vogue: A How-To Manual by Senator Scott Brown
Special Thanks to Illustrator Steve Bell for sparing us all the cartoon pubes.